Thursday, November 16, 2006
What? What?

Well, it has been 2 months since i touched this 2 year old blog. Its not like I have nothing to say recently but i really do feel tired blogging and constantly due to my commitment to SAF...

Just in case you ppl do not know where i was posted to after my Ammunition Storeman course, I am currently in SAF Ammunition Command, pioneering a whole new media design team, constantly feed our fellow ppl in SAFAC with the latest news, entertaining them with our products during event such as our SAFAC Anniversary. The team consists of one of my buddy, Joshua and me. Of course, our direct superior is a warrent officer, warrent chan. Based on his knowledge about IT, he is constantly arrowed to do all these stuff. But now, he managed to grab the two of us and throw all the arrows upon our heads. HA!The next upcoming event will be making a video for the commander as he is stepping down back to a civilian life. Its a huge project and imagine the stress we as private need to handle. 

Anniversary video to me was a torture. Constantly changing the content inside to the really last minute was driving me nuts. Luckily on that day of the anniversary, i wasn't able to attend the dinner due to the fact that I was on duty that day. Heh! Blessing in disguise. WHY!? Because it was held bloody far away in EXPO!

After that, bitching happened to me often. I worked hard on the anniversary video, and 2 days of overtime, not only the warrent officer didn't give us off, but he also claims that what we do is very boring. WTH! All they did was give us photo, and we managed to made it worked to the fullest and even exceed alot of ppl's expectations of what photos can do. Even the In charge of School of Ammunition wants us to post back to school because he likes the video so much.

I still remember our very first project was thrown to us when En Chik's (thats what we call warrent officer) Ammunition guidebook designed were rejected. The moment we let our eyes exposed, the graphics and designs burned our eyes. It looks.. So.. So.. Amateur like secondary school textbook.. HELLO? This is Military we are talking about. Do some research on Military stuff LAH!

Despite of that, he is still proud of his own design, and kept emphasizing to us that what he did are great and his ideas are very good. All i can say is that his doesn't have an open-mind and only cares about what he thinks... I kind of hate it when he tries to interfere our creativity when comes to designing... Totally...

Well, just finished meeting with all the huge huge character in my unit. A retired Col and a Major... Was talking about our proposal about the commander's video. Seems like they kind of like our vague ideas. Just hopefully it won't end up like the anniversary video, at the very last moment then add whole lots of stuff and wanna change some of this and that.

Thats all about it in what I do and job scope.. Still holding a green IC earning only $350 per month... 1 year 8 months to ORD.

My bro and I kinda alittle drifting apart I think.. Due to his busy diving training and all.. Now going through land phase, he doesn't have the time to actually hear me ald. I doubt he wants to go YHHB which usually our gather point.

YHHB.. Speaking of that, Sam wants me to do a video.. Hopefully I won't get tired of my hobby.. I am again, pulled by MDM Peng to play drums for the coming concert.

Its not that I dun like to play, I think that it is time for the juniors to experience what its like to perform to a bigger scale audience. But she kept persuading until i couldn't take it anymore, i only can accept it. Now that Mr Tang also agrees in my Pt of view.. So what now? Perform or not to perform?

Sad to say, my sense of belonging in YHHB is gradually fading fast. No idea whats happening, suddenly felt that nobody is close to me in that family. Nobody asks about what and how i felt being in there. Not even the music is asking.. Then i start questioning myself.. The most negative thoughts that came into my mind, 'am i being use?' Oh fuck it.. I think after this concert, i might not go back anymore.

Seriously, nobody asked about me.. The usual gang at the most hear about what i do during work.. No.. Not a single of what and how i felt.. I am still trying to keep myself positive in a way.. Lets hope that I won't fall...

I started to hate blogging, I dun want this to be some sort of trend following, but a place where i can bitch and shout out... I don't want this to be the most famous blog or what. Maybe I'll stop blogging, or maybe I just change the freaking address so that only ppl that is close to me knows. Its not like i am shutting my doors but I kinda hate internet now. I don't want to depend on it to communicate. I am so tired.. I want a day off.. I don't want to face the arrogant en chik. I wanna play my music, the music i love..

I just don't wanna lose myself...

 

 

 


Posted at 11/16/2006 8:01:25 pm by Z'

 

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Name: Jesper Zeng
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